HnNnG as a PV follows a mini-plot line. I will explain it now. There are two young kids, blonde as the day is full of hours. The two kids love each other but are, noooo, a galaxy apart! They look into telescopes, pining for each other, and are represented by freaky little dolls standing on freaky little planets (we'll get to this, no worries). Since the title alludes to the galaxy in your eyes, we see galaxies in their eyes! And tons of constellations!
But seeing as how two little blonde kids and a bunch of constellations have nothing to do with Arashi, we shall completely ignore them. I mean, come on, PV Director. Couldn't you have at least used Arashi related constellations? A Sagittarius for Ohno maybe? Gemini? Cetus the Fail? (Actually, kudos, Virgo is used - which not only covers MatsuJun but also the Arashi birthday as well.)
But unless the members of Arashi themselves are dressing up as classical figures and prancing about in front of a night-sky background (CETUS THE FAIL, CETUS THE FAIL!), constellations within a PV shall remain uninteresting.
And after all, this is a song for a Nino drama.
You come for Nino, you stay for Nino.
So, yes, as we are uninterested in two little blonde kids, we start with Nino as Nino starts the song.
But even if it is Nino's drama, we wouldn't dare have an all Nino PV. And thus, Ohno comes in quickly to accompany the Neener.
Despite my previous statement, I would think this would be enough. A theme song with just Ohno and Nino? Brilliant! They're carrying all the vocal duties here, what's the point of bringing in Sho, Aiba, and MatsuJun?
But to my shock, brought in they are, regardless:
And it looks like they can't quite understand why they're there either.
Oh but see!
Arashi mimics the two children! They too are separated, "galaxies" apart from each other. Pining for each other.
However, apparently making a video where half of the band longs for the other and strives to cross space and time to reunite is a no go (just imagine Arashi splitting into two groups and remaking A-Ha's "Take On Me" video; I do not understand why JE doesn't just hire me on the spot...)
Thus through the powers of movie magic:
THEIR GALAXIES INTERTWINE! ARASHI ARE TOGETHER AGAIN! I JUST PERVED THE NOTION OF INTERTWINING GALAXIES!
Boy I bet Arashi sure are glad to be reunited so early in the video. Maybe they serve as a beacon of hope for our still estranged adolescent cuddle bunnies?
And suddenly it becomes apparent why the other three were brought in after all...
(Kiddies, close your eyes.)
Of course, reunited, instead of Nino and Ohno singing solemnly and the other three looking hopelessly lost, now, they can all look lost together. Given the nature of the song, I'm sure the director went to them and said, "Okay boys. This song is about very deep love. But the lovers are parted and the sense is that there's a connection even across universes. Convey that feeling - let yourself feel like a lover removed light years from your other half and go with that."
...let us all take a moment now to feel sorry for their eventual future spouses.
I can't be too harsh on them, though. You have two options for a PV - dance, or no dance. And is dance really appropriate for a slower love ballad? Thus, they can do little more than sit around and look pretty as they sing their hearts out. And should we argue? Because they're soooo very good at looking pretty.
Sexy can I hit it from the front, then I hit it from the back - know you like it like that
Aiba: ...are you...disrespecting me?
No! No no no! I'm not being disrespectful at all!
Aiba: oh, okay
Then we take it to the bed! Then we take it to the floor! Then we chill for a second, then we're back at it for more!
Aiba: You are being disrespectful!!
MatsuJun: wait, you're not an Aiba fangirl - why are you sexually harassing him?
No worries, MatsuJun. I'm too crazy to be anything but a you fangirl.
Come on fellow MatsuJun fangirls. Fess up. You know we're sort of the tinhats of the Arashi crowd. We have the most amazing ability to rationalize everything away. There is no negative we can't turn positive. Even if you think you're a hamster amongst lemmings, let us not forget - hamsters aren't exactly the titans of the animal world. It's how we deal with our cognitive dissonance; MatsuJun does something questionable, we take away the question!
Honestly, he could do anything and we'd say it only made him hotter.
"Despite being 25, MatsuJun can at any time revert back to full puberty."
MatsuJun: oi
He likes to do things thoroughly. Look at how much time he's invested in doing the job right.
"MatsuJun apparently likes to kick puppies for fun."
MatsuJun: OI.
Puppies sometimes need to be kicked and only MatsuJun is thoughtful enough to do something about it.
"Turns out MatsuJun really is sleeping with Oguri Shun!"
MatsuJun: oi!
Awhn. He really does care that much about his coworkers.
Come on now. I know because I live it myself. Proudly raise your hand and yell, "Viva Myself!"
But having said that - first rule of Arashi PV still applies.
Aiba is to die for gorgeous this go round. I cannot be held responsible for my sexual harassment.
MatsuJun: I see your point
Aiba: Greeeeaaaaat. Now I have to share the couch with Oguri Shun.
I'm a firm believer that your favorite member says something about you, though. There's a reason you're drawn to your color of choice. Oh sure, Aiba fans clearly and correctly flock to their flame because he is so drop dead pretteh. But it's not just that. Aiba fans don't have to frame things differently like we MatsuJun peeps. They don't have to rationalize anything - they enable it.
Aiba: I think I'll eat a cake for dinner. I think I'll do a dance in public. I think I'll visit Mars.
The Aiba Fan: Great idea! You should! I'll help you pack!
Aiba: I think I'll ride a rhino.
MatsuJun: I think you should
Aiba: yabai...
Nino: MatsuJun's new found infatuation with Aiba is cute and all, but I'm pretty sure earlier you said something about a Nino-centric video for a Nino drama? Which, I think, would require a Nino?
Yes, Nino. I get the hint. You should be featured more.
So let's talk about your fangirls now.
Because they neither rationalize nor enable. They embrace.
Nino: well...
Nino fangirls like Nino because he's a snarky stabby mcstabsalot. No need to resolve anything Nino does because they already like him that way.
Nino: well....
And because of this, they don't have to waste their time trying to pretend that things like poncho vests or mabu dofu in crepe format are not only awesome but preferable. Instead, they can skip all this nonsense and go straight to talking about his penis.
Nino: . . .
Nino: ...wellllll...
vv okay, thank you, that's enough of that. Now, the Sho fa- eh. Nino. What are you doing now?
Nino: Imagining what it's like to be a Nino fan.
VV AS I SAID, THE SHO FANS.
Ahem.
The Sho fans - they don't embrace. They don't rationalize. They don't even enable.
No, the Sho fans are built with an amazing talent for apathy towards all things fail.
They flat out ignore.
Sho: I'm going to dance now!
Sho Fan: *pats* go right ahead
Sho: I'm going to untie the Gordian Knot!
Sho Fan: *pats* that's nice
Sho: I'm going to actually use my muscles
Sho Fan: *snorfle-cough* sure you are
Ohno fans...
I gotta say - Ohno fans are a little harder to peg down.
Oh, no worries, Ohno. You've got a legion of girls on your side. It's just that their traits are a little different from the rest of us.
I guess if you had to characterize Ohno fans, they're generally people drawn to two things.
First, they are great admirers of talent.
Ohno: that's very sweet
Second, they like easy-to-catch-infinitely-fun-to-molest-marshmallow-ass.
Ohno: not so sweet...
HnNnG...the love song that launched a thousand bitchy faces...
We have gotten way off course on this PV. Back to the plot at hand.
Kids? What kids? Nino's playing guitar. The important things, folks. Focus.
...Sho...I don't think that's terribly appropriate for this video.
Even if the director did tell you to express what it's like to feel lonely...
And so, the PV wraps up with the two kids getting together...spiritually? Actually? Something like that.
Any last words, Arashi?
Nino: do my fangirls really just think about my penis?
Ohno: do my fangirls really just think about my butt?
Sho: wait, what do you mean 'snorfle-cough' ???
MatsuJun: how many people can you fit on a couch?
Aiba: do my fangirls really think such disrespectful thoughts about me?
Aiba: ...yabai...
And thus, HnNnG ends. With pretty Arashi? No. With scary puppet people coming together.
Some may call it sweet.
I say it takes away the Aiba aftertaste. vV
Of course, as always, there's the PV floating around YouTube for you to witness. Oh sure, there's some pretty stuff here: stars in the kids' eyes, Aiba, the temporarily paralysis of MatsuJun's on-going puberty, Aiba, the backgrounds, Aiba. But don't say I didn't warn you about how incredibly boring it actually is.
MWA!