...oh, the urge to make a banner with that claim - it is mighty.
(Notice I never bother to explain just how exactly the two, or three even, compare. Mystery!)
The 19th installment of PVS is this - Jidai. It was Arashi's 7th PV - oh, we're back in the early, early days, eh?
So anyway, Jidai...
It begins like this! Oooh, the chills! This looks slightly sinister, maybe a little hard core.
If you've never heard the song, Jidai is a little...well, how did my friend Riva describe it when she translated the lyrics? In your face RAWR! Look We Can Do Rock Yo! single...
It is a little harder edged than typical Arashi fare, even considering that it came out in 2001, when certain members of the group were still walking around with one pant leg rolled up like it was cool. I won't name names.
But Jidai, it's a song about seizing the day, kind of - taking the reigns of life because it's now your era.
............FOR LOVE! (No, seriously, have you read the lyrics to these songs, translated or no? It is a red letter day when Arashi are not singing about love of some sort. Love lost, love won, love shake it shake it baby weekend gonna make luv UHN UHN!)
The PV reflects this notion of seizing your own time (but sadly leaves out the FOR LOVE! part; 2001 - still too young for surprise rainbow buttsechsing ala Kitto Daijoubu) and thus attempts to resemble the grittiness of the music itself.
So if you think to yourself, "My, they are a bit moody for people seizing their era (FOR LOVE!)," now you'll understand why.
They need to live up to the image of the song, after all.
But...you know...don't expect a complete turn around over night, okay?
After all
You tune in because you expect certain things from Arashi and Arashi do not like to disappoint!
Oh that particular dance move. I'm sure there's a way to make it not look ridiculous and awkward, but suffice to say Arashi never found it.
Now. You might also be thinking to yourself, "Tey, I am an avid reader of PVS. I know by now that it is a cause for celebration when a single is not tied into another work. Is Jidai a stand-alone video?"
OF COURSE NOT!
Jidai was the ending song for Matsumoto Jun's first real leading role drama, Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo 3. I loooooove Kindaichi 3. It's so cheap and looks like television I used to watch at 2 am in my teens. However, if you're a fan of the first two Kindaichi shows, this is a bit like blasphemy. You see, Jun took over the role from JE senpai and all around amazingly-gifted-but-quirky Domoto Tsuyoshi. I've been told series 1 and 2 are better, but I have yet to discover this for myself.
For those who are not into JE, I'll explain this egregious error in terms of cheese: it's like being a fan of asiago and your friend says they like cheddar. Oh sure, cheddar has its merits, but come on man - ASIAGO CHEESE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ANY COW IN WISCONSIN CAN MAKE CHEDDAR.
At least, however, I have not ventured into the depths of the Kindaichi SP that came after Jun's tenure - the one starring Kamenashi Kazuya. To finish my analogy, that'd be like saying you think Velveeta is superior and useful for more than cheap macaroni.
(Uh...the SP that is, not Kamenashi from KAT-TUN himself. He's more like a solid slice of...well I don't have time to assign everyone in Johnny's Entertainment their own personal cheese flavor, okay? Except Jun, he'd totally be feta - a little strong but completely lovable if you've got the taste for it. Oh and Aiba would totally be a happy mozzarella - good with any pizza. I seem to have derailed myself rather quickly...)
Anyway, Jidai plays at the end of each episode, which features a sort of moody atmosphere and Jun doing things in reverse and -
Um, things go backwards like water and an apple exploding and -
And...sand...uh -
OKAY FINE. So the ending of Kindaichi 3 is a bit like watching soft core!
Crap - you guys tuned in just to poke a little fun at Arashi and instead I get you busted for having kiddy bait on your computer!
Point being, since this is connected to a Jun project, surely MatsuJun is front and center and the main focus of this song/PV, right?
Well, not exactly.
Not when there's a Sakurai in the wings.
THEY NEVER EXPECT THE SHO!!
Sho: Hey, we're Arashi. We're here to seize our era and you better watch out because no one's going to stand in our way.
Nino: That's right - we're hard core. We will mess you up.
Aiba: ...who are you talking to?
Nino: It's a two way communicator...I think.
Sho: Cross us and beware, we are a force to be reckoned with - we are the storm!
Aiba: Did I just change the channel?
Nino: No, I think you just screwed up the contrast...
Sho: We are the masterminds of our generation!
Ohno: That was the record button, wasn't it?
Nino: Huh, Jun's copy of this week's Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo 3 was in there.
MatsuJun: ....what?
Aiba: shiiiiit.
Sho: Arashi cannot be broken because it comes from a special place - my....heart.
Aiba: Wha?
MatsuJun: My heart.
Aiba: That's right, MatsuJun's heart!
MatsuJun: MY HEART.
Nino: We've still got the warranty on it, remember?
Sho: YEAH YEAH!
And thank you for flipping me off there, Shohan...
Aiba: Yeah...yeah?
Nino: I told you it was a bad idea to let Sho lead this PV.
Sho: I can squish all of your heads with my fingers! EEEE SQUISH!
Aiba: But if Sho doesn't lead the PV, who?
Ah, no worries, Aiba. I have the answer for you!
Jyan.
Sho: Is the answer me?
No, Sho. You can't replace yourself with yourself. It would defeat the purpose - and basic definition - of being replaced.
MatsuJun: Ah, if it's not Sho, and it's not me, and Nino didn't step forward, and Aiba was the one who asked - that means the only person left is....
JYAN.
MatsuJun: I just had it too...the name's on the tip of my tongue!
IT'S OHNO - FOR THE LOVE OF AIBA'S SPECIAL FUZZY FRIENDS. OH. NO. OHNO!
MatsuJun: Ohhhh, no I was thinking "Domoto Tsuyoshi."
Ohno: me? Why me?
Well, besides being the LEADER, period -
Who's always there cheering on the other guys?
Ohno: You're kidding, right?
And who's always there to give them the push they need!
Ohno: . . . . .
Oh, come on, Ohno. Lead this PV!
The boys need you for all of the complicated dance sequences!
Just keep in mind that fail is contagious, eh?
Aiba: Really? Ohno?!
Nino: I agree with Aiba. Is putting Oh-chan in charge of anything ever a really good idea?
Sho: I'm still here, I can still lead the PV!
Sho: I can give you guys a push in the back when you need it!
Aiba and Nino: ALL HAIL PV LEADER OHNO!
Sho: You guys suck.
And so it was! Ohno Satoshi became the leader of the Jidai PV!
Ohno: ...CRAP.
As you may have noticed, towards the middle we switch from really dark moody PV to a light moody PV! I cannot tell you the significance of this, except that putting them in this sort of atmosphere means that their faces (and rolled up pant leg) can be lit properly. And this is a promotional video to sell copies of the single, right? So we need face time.
Also, for your notes, this change in lighting has no direct effect on the dancing. Carry on.
They worked hard for their face time, so I feel obligated to share. (Twist my arm, and all.)
Ohno's pretty face close up was above, and here's Sho's
RAR! He's rebellious and stuff!
Do you know that I came so very close to taking this shot and the cap that followed it, which had Nino looking off to the side, and making a shifty eyes Nino gif? But you know...it sort of creeped me out and I think doing that once per PVS website is plenty.
I mean, I'm just saying...you've seen Battle Royale, right? I can sleep at night knowing Nino hasn't been blonde for a long time. Er, crazy psycho blonde - as opposed to punky Pika*Nchi blonde, which was just fine. Pika*Nchi Nino is just going to poke holes in your condom; Jidai Nino? I wouldn't give him a sharp object let alone a condom.
One of these days I'm going to tally up who I beat up on the most - Jun, Nino, or Sho. Ohno's probably up there too considering his only lines all seem to involve molestation...
And then there are the other two - we cannot forget about them.
Naturally, there's Jun, whose pants are always an optical illusion - but especially here.
There's something about Jun here...I can't quite put my finger on it.
Oh...what is it called...you know? It's like, he's sort of maturing but not quite there and is caught in some strange awkward middle where the face is there but he hasn't grown into it yet?
Man, what is that word?
MatsuJun: IT'S CALLED PUBERTY!
8D OH YEAH! How could I forget? Silly me. Mwahahaha.
Oh Jidai puberty. I do love thee. Permit me to bask shortly in the glow that is Matsumoto Jun's amazingly feminine waist to hip ratio. Aaaaaahhhh. (There's a reason I picked Jidai as the 19th PV, you know!)
And then there's this fellow:
Slightly awkward pose aside...
How Aiba pulls these sort of intense model-esque stares out of his body, which is normally preoccupied with giggling and talking about you-know-what, I do not know.
All I do know is, when I first saw Jidai, I didn't know who this was. I confess! I saw him in the left corner of the group shot with Nino, Ohno, and Jun - eh?! Wait, who is that?!
But you can understand why, right? I mean, duh, Aiba Masaki is a master of disguise and range! He's naturally going to throw me for a loop from time to time. For example -
He can play the guy who hasn't a clue.
And he can play the guy who's feeling a bit blue.
He can play someone who's totally rude.
And...
Well, I mean, how to put this delicately...
Aiba Masaki has very special Emmy nomination potential.
As in, I don't know why Nino and Jun keep getting those sorts of roles...
There we go. *cough*
This is a terrible quality cap, but I had to include it anyway. I mean, none of these are the standard that I like, but COME ON! That's the cutest face Aiba's ever made in a PV! And if I recall, I caught that on a very quick pan, so it must be shared!
Sorry Sho. You'll just have to regain your dignity later - possibly by wearing your pants with one leg rolled up, maybe? (In 2007, no less? Good call, El - thanks!)
Alright, back to snarking!
We started off with the moody dancing, then we went to the brighter lighting, and now it ends again with moody dancing. With Sho in front. So much for Ohno taking over.
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SHO!!
Still, putting Sho in the front of your group during the dance sequence goes as well as you would imagine.
Sho: My dancing's not that bad in this PV...
That's true, Sho. Well, to the extent of, when things go south here on the sequences, it's not like I can blame you for it.
You're not responsible for the second half's dance sequence devolving into this.
Which turns into this...
And then, at some point someone in charge of editing must have realized how terrible it was. I have not doctored this shot - it came straight from the PV as is.
Enjoy trying to not throw up at this point of the video.
And that, folks, is Jidai.
Eh? What? That was a lot of RAWR! for nothing, no?
Oi! What more do you want for 2001?
Just remember:
Jidai has bad ass intentions!
It just also has a whole lot of accidental gay.
...FOR LOVE!
YOU! Streaming site, now! Find Jidai! Seize your era!
FOR LOVE!
MWA!