We hit the 23rd PVS installment with a middle era video. The 12th PV, according to my magical list, was Tomadoi Nagara.
I don't have a lot to say about TomaD, as I like to call it. (Nevermind that today is the first day I've ever used "TomaD"...) The song itself is one of these more restrained pieces - the only use of a solo is letting Ohno guide everyone else. It's kind of a serious piece of music.
And as a result, the video itself is kind of serious. There's not much about TomaD that's particularly funny.
The uncertain feelings of the heart are reflected in the environment of the video.
There is no dancing. There is no unnecessary finger pointing. No Sakurap.
Just Arashi singing quite solemnly in a very sparse background. The set is white and they're surrounded by a tiny city that brings to mind this Sesame Street book I had when I was little that suggested you could make a bug town out of milk cartons.
So instead of discussing the appropriateness of this miniature, washed-out setting - how lonely and constricting life can be represented by a model city that literally cannot contain Arashi...
I'm going to point out that Arashi are here in a city made almost entirely of cardboard. And are stuck in said city. With little more than said cardboard.
Ohno, with Rutger Hauer's hair: WHUT?
Aiba: I think that means when we stand around and look pretty, we shouldn't try to sit on cardboard and stand around and look pretty. Unless we stack enough cardboard to hold us - we could find out how many boards of card it takes -
Ohno: No, Aiba, you're missing the point.
Aiba: I am?
Ohno: If we're stuck in this city made of cardboard, it means we can't leave. And if the entire city is made of cardboard, that means everything else is cardboard too. So if we can't leave a city that has nothing but cardboard...
Aiba: . . .
Aiba: *sniffling* there's no food!
Ohno: There is no food.
Nino: Oh god, there's no food...
MatsuJun: It can't be that bad. I mean, this is just a PV shoot - I've gone for a couple of hours without food before and it really wasn't that bad.
Nino: Food's not the only thing that's missing, okay?
Nino: Follow my logic here for a second. If the entire city's made of cardboard and that means we have no access to real food, then it would stand that other things we might want are unavailable as well since they are not made out of cardboard either.
MatsuJun: . . .
MatsuJun: Ohno Christ Super Sauce...are you saying I have to go this entire PV shoot without any hair product?!?!
MatsuJun: This is the worst day of my life.
Nino: Of course, we as humans can't survive on cardboard. So if there's no food, we'll be forced to eat someone to survive...
Ohno: Let's not think about that until we have to.
Sho: Wait. The entire city's made of cardboard, which means everything is cardboard, which means...
Ohno: Right, that we have no food.
Sho: No, not food. I was thinking of something else. What's that thing that makes you feel happy inside?
Nino: Food.
Sho: No, not food. That other thing that makes you happy.
Sho: You know. You need it to live, but it also helps pass the time and it makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
Ohno: L-love?
Sho: No, not love...
MatsuJun: Sex?
Sho: NO. Not sex.
MatsuJun: Oh.
MatsuJun: ...is it porn?
Sho: Yeah, that's it. Porn.
Sho: Oh my god, we don't have any porn...
Aiba: This sucks. No food. No basketball. No yakiniku. No porn. No curry. No video games. But especially no food and no porn.
Nino: I still say we eat each other - it'd solve all of our problems!
MatsuJun and Aiba: . . .
Nino: By which of course I mean picking one member to sacrifice and using the cardboard to start a fire and feed everyone else for a couple of weeks, unpleasant as it would be. At least we won't starve. Because that's what I was talking about. Eating food. And nothing else.
Aiba: Right! Right! Eating food!
MatsuJun: Of course - eating food... *cough*
Ohno: No one is going to eat anyone. Let's just split up and see what we can find - there's got to be more than cardboard here.
And thus, Arashi splits up to search the cardboard city for basic needs...
Sho: It looks like an office building and office buildings are always stocked...
Aiba: I found an airplane. That's not made out of cardboard. I wonder...
Ohno: ...hey! A net! That gives me an idea...
MatsuJun: Aha...
Nino: There has to be something here that I can use...
Sho: Who would make a replica office building and then put in little replica supplies, though? Oh well, never hurts to ask.
Sho: Hello? Anyone there? Do you have any porn?
Aiba: Fly, little plane! Go get help!
Aiba: I wonder if it knows I prefer chicken...
Ohno: Perfect - I can use this after all.
Ohno: Now if I could just find some rice, I could make miniature metallic soccer net chahan...
MatsuJun: There it goes...
MatsuJun: Don't forget - HAIR PRODUCT! HAIR. PRODUCT.
Nino: Yep. I can definitely use this...
And so, after searching the model city, Arashi come back together to discuss what they've found...
Ohno: Well...anything?
Aiba, Sho, MatsuJun and Nino: not so much...
Aiba: The plane misunderstood and just brought back a bottle of teriyaki sauce...
Ohno: And I found out that you can't eat miniature metallic soccer nets...
Ohno: Guess no one found anything.
Sho: I...sort of found something...
Sho: I was just about to give up and come back to the group when I spotted...
Sho: Is that...what I think it is?
Ohno: And?
Sho: No. It wasn't porn. Just a pair of cardboard hills.
Nino: How do you...nevermind. I didn't find any food either. Jun-kun, did you find hair product?
MatsuJun: Does it look like I found hair product?
Nino: Ooookay, forget I asked that.
And thus, our favorite group of guys find themselves stuck without any supplies - they must face reality and have the courage to rise above the challenge. Set forth for the uncertain future!
Ohno: Guess we'll have to leave and look for stuff somewhere else.
Nino: I don't know. Leaving and exploring - foraging on our own - is risky and a lot of work. I still think we should pick a member to eat.
MatsuJun: . . .
Aiba: . . .
Sho: Well?
Ohno: I'm not dignifying that with a response.
Aiba: But we do have the teriyaki sauce...
Ohno: . . .
Sho: And you know what goes great with teriyaki sauce?
MatsuJun: Hamburger...
Nino: This isn't exactly what I had in mind...
Sho: Someone grab his cardboard pointy stabby thing and pass the teriyaki sauce...
And thus, the sun sets on Tomadoi Nagara...and hopefully not Ninomiya Kazunari. I mean really, what a poor choice, Arashi. Why not go for rump roast and eat Sho?
...wow. You had no idea any of this was going on when you first watched the video, did you? You just thought some post-teenage boys were standing around all angsty like while they sung their boyband ballad. With subtle imagery about outgrowing things, literally.
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU.
And may I suggest bringing a thing of yakiniku with you to the next concert. Three hours is a long time to deny idols food.
And that, all, is the end of TomaD.
Or is it? Maybe I'm lying and there's a super secret bonus ending on the PV where Nino takes out the cardboard cell tower he found and fights Sho to the death, declaring victory and leadership of the Arashis, who all pledge their allegiance - In Neener We Trust! Or, at least, In Neener We Don't Turn Our Backs On. You'll just have to find a streaming copy and see for yourself.
I came this close to making a comment of Arashi does Rampage but I'm pretty sure that out-dates a lot of you! XD
MWA!