That's actually a big lie as mocking Kitto Daijoubu requires about as much brain power as eating french fries. vV
The truth is, it's the last high quality one I have, so it's up next.
Fear not, true believers, Ms ZoZo (which is Zoe's new nickname for the next eight minutes) has the hook up and we'll all be rolling in gay high quality soon! 8D
Um, because of the quality, these pics are bigger than Sunrise Nippon's...
and...
there are like 60 of them *COUGH*
oo I told you capping Kitto Daijoubu for gay fun was too easy!
So, here's how Kitto Daijoubu starts out:
Nauseated, yet?
Sho has a little problem in this PV as well. You see...
That star up there keeps saying things about his mother.
...and telling him he's a wuss.
But mostly he's upset because of the Yo Momma jokes. Really.
Fear not, Arashi fans...
Sho's been around MatsuJun and Nino long enough to know how to smack a bitch.
And thus, our PV can start for real!
At this point in the video, my sister has to stop and say, "Why is there no Yellow in their rainbow?"
...she's right. Of course, that's because this isn't a regular rainbow, this is an Arashi rainbow with each color representing each member - Orange taking care of Nino here.
Still, it's disturbing to have no yellow in a rainbow.
It's also disturbing to know that in the land of Arashi, SCIENCE HAS NO PLACE.
ROY G BIV MY ASS.
IN ARASHI LAND WE ONLY HAVE GBPRO!
(yes, I did pick this cap for the way Sho's standing)
Everyone's here.
Ohno, who is convinced that, this time, he will not get molested and or hit in the nuts.
Sho, who is still engaged in a Yo Momma fight with an animated shooting star. ("Your mother is so fat, she eats a lot! 8D")
MatsuJun, who is...freaking me the hell out holding his hand that way. I'm putting my pinky up like that now and I can do it but I can't say it's comfortable. Oo
Aiba, who is having a bad video day. For real, Kitto isn't Aiba's best work. He can't help it - they're around the filming of Kiiroi Namida at this point which required short hair of him. Short hair, does not work. Hence the giant top hat.
And then there's Nino.
At this point, my sister had to stop and point out that Nino clearly was a nerd in school. She can just tell by looking at him.
To emphasize this:
Kitto Daijoubu - not doing Nino any favors, either.
Though, I would like to point out...
Who's the big dork flailing about in the back there?
I'll give you a small hint. It rhymes with MatsuJewn.
It wouldn't be an Arashi video without an emphasis on dancing, of course.
Or, in this case - Ohno's dancing, Sho's reciting poetry, MatsuJun is proving to everyone that he can stick out his butt the furthest, Aiba thinks he's Frankenstein Jr., and Nino...
We have a phrase in the South for people like Nino.
Bless his heart.
He's trying to dance, he really is.
While I'm on the topic, I just want to point out something here:
There's a reason I rank them in dancing the way I do.
If MatsuJun could just gay hand it a little less.
If Nino could just reel it in a little bit.
If Aiba could just get a little more on the beat.
If Sho could...no...really...there is no help for Sho, who is dancing in the gayest song of all time like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.
Though, let's be fair:
When your choreographer gives you a move like this, it should be justifiable homicide to strangle him.
Back to the video, though.
So Arashi's dancing around, right?
But danger looms in the distance...
MatsuJun's driving this crazy train and he can't stop!
SKEWER! There goes Aiba!
SKEWER! There goes Nino!
Uh oh, Ohno and Sho! He's coming for you next!
Besides, the law of inertia demands that he keep going til he CATCHES THEM ALL!
(...wait, law of Pokemon, not inertia...)
SKEWER! There goes Ohno and Sho!
Lol. And you thought you'd come out of this video un butt hurt, Ohno. Naive.
Of course, isn't this the reason everyone loves Kitto Daijoubu? The money shot, right here?
Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be
And now they've taken a break to star in a Captain Morgan commercial - best way to capitalize, boys! Of course, really, Arashi is just breaking the fourth wall to show that they do not in fact live in fluffy rainbow happy gay fun time land.
They live in a land where porn is readily available just off set.
awhn, too soon?
Ohno: you know...looking at these dailies...I think...I think I may be the hottest member!
Sho: WHA?!
Ohno: hell yeah, I'm so the hottest!
MatsuJun: what'd he say???
MatsuJun: *divine retribution...bitches!*
MatsuJun: that ought to do it.
Aiba and Nino: oh. The carnage.
Really, Ohno. I told you. Any hope for getting out of a PV without having your butt violated at least three times is just sort of a pipe dream.
Though, let's be honest...
It's hard to care about MatsuJun's divine retribution when Sho has his hand up your ass.
Just as Lucky Man taught us Idols + Water =/= sexy...
Wind doesn't really help them, either.
From here, they go to a brief interlude of romping about outdoors. It's notable for the following:
Ohno is the hill and MatsuJun's got his flag staked squarely in it.
And this makes the others cry.
Except Sho, who forgets Ohno's name so easily...
Sho: I've got my own trading card!!
But fear not, Ohno lovers. Our leader's wise. Our leader's been around the block. Our leader isn't going to let some punk baby of the group push him around.
Because back in Arashi Land, our leader is...
Ohno Christ, Superstar.
Oo GEEZ OHNO!
Was it necessary to be THAT rough on MatsuJun?! XD
I capped this simply because I liked Sho's profile; I don't know XD Back to the funny!
They then proceed to do this dance sequence that involves Ohno, Aiba, and Nino touching each others' knees while Sho and MatsuJun slide to the front, wave their jackets around and so forth.
It can, actually, be quite sexy.
Especially when MatsuJun rams his arm up Nino's ass on the way through.
BTW. During the dance sequence, MatsuJun does, for lack of better terminology, a roundhouse kick.
He must have royally sucked it up in the video, because it got cut and all you can see is the spin leading into it.
So, therefore, being a whor- er, fangirl, I am obligated to show it off as it kind of sucks to try something different like that and have it hit the cutting room floor. XD
There, Pup.
You're vindicated.
Back to mocking your girly ass.
People just don't learn:
If water + idol =/= sexy and wind + idol =/= sexy, wind AND water is probably going to fug up your talent quite a bit.
Clever ploy to get your underwear in a video? Maybe.
Clever ploy to look pretty? Not so much.
Also, at some point MatsuJun flips back from ultra serious mode into 8D WHEE! dork mode and decides to lie down on the ground while all the other members trip over themselves to straddle him.
It has nothing to do with MatsuJun himself.
Just, Arashi never met a chance to straddle each other that they didn't like.
Ohno Christ Superstar says enough with the wind already, GAH!
So then we get the circle rainbow bit:
Did I mention that Aiba's had better videos?
Did I mention that Nino's had better videos? XD
MatsuJun: I have a ruffley shirt!
...yeah, I see that.
MatsuJun: oh you see that, huh? Do you?
MatsuJun: bitch, please
MatsuJun: What-ever.
Here's something you don't see every day.
Here's something you do.
Time to play, Who's Getting an Ass Poke?
Hint: there are five right answers and the rainbow isn't one of them.
But now it's time to say goodbye to our lads in happy fun Arashiland.
But not before we get in a little more gay...
Or a lot more gay.
Nice pants, there, Pu-
JESUS MATSUJUN!
I TOLD YOU TO WATCH WHERE YOU POINTED THAT THING!!!
vv great. Now Aiba's going to think it's his fault he's been hospitalized again.
Sho: I dun wanna leave Arashiland.
Too bad, Sho. I took your fucking car away.
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is Kitto Daijoubu.
Now, as always, you may want to seek out the video on YouTube so that you can see all the gay glo-
...wait.
No I'm sorry.
Before we wrap up, I really really need to get something clear.
Sho, you wanna what?
....you wanna WHAT?!
........I'm sorry, I'm still not getting it.
*sigh*
MatsuJun, translation please?
MatsuJun: Weekend gonna make luv "ah ah"
OHHHHHHHH. oo Thanks.
Sho: e_e
Also, because I can't help it, I made gifs of my two favorite moments from the Music Station performance that I abused earlier in this post.
Yeah I really could watch those all night. XD
Hmm, Aiba and Nino didn't get much love this go round.
It's okay, this really wasn't their video. I suspect next time things will change.
MWAAAAA!